Lawyers like to use big words. Little words are boring and unnecessarily concise. Big words are impressive and are indisputable evidence of one’s legal prowess.
Words with multiple syllables are the preferred method of communication. The more syllables, the better. The longer the individual words, the more convoluted the sentence, and the more likely you are to hopelessly confuse your client, your opponent, the judge and the jury. And, as every good lawyer knows, mass confusion inevitably leads to victory.
Big words from another language, preferably Latin, are particularly sought after commodities in the legal profession. Drop a Latin term and your opponents are sure to take notice and will most likely respond in kind. Eventually the battle of wits will devolve into a conversation occurring solely in a language that neither of you actually speaks.
Everyone around you will be sure to sit up and take notice. It’s a surefire way to expand your client base. That is, as long as your clients don’t speak Latin.
Today’s guest blogger is Nicole Black, who is of counsel to Fiandach & Fiandach in Rochester, New York. She co-authors a Thomson West treatise, Criminal Law in New York and writes a weekly column for the Daily Record. She also publishes three blogs: Sui Generis, Legal Antics, and Women Lawyers.
A lawyer without clients is like pain without suffering, the Salton Sea without salt, green eggs without ham, Mutt without Jeff, and cease without desist. You know the old adage: a lawyer without client is unemployed.
The law firm bible for all solo, small firm and general practitioners, How to Capture and Keep Clients should really be on every lawyer’s desk. It’s written by real-life, in-the-trenches lawyers who practice in a variety of styles across America, from the 14th floor of a real tall building in New York City to very small towns in Indiana and Kentucky. These lawyers aren’t fancy-pants lawyers who know only theory; the lessons they teach are drawn from real-life experiences.
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If there’s one thing lawyers like more than prestige, pain and suffering and a new Mercedes Benz, it’s good humor. You’ve heard the lawyer jokes, and so have we. That shows how much the world really does love us. The humor world is filled with jokes about Jews, sex, Mexicans, women, and the politically correct, but exactly when was the last time you heard a good joke about a chiropractor?
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